The life of a Monkey Nurse

I committed to work through a one-day nurse strike in Yuba City, CA, which was to be followed by a 10-day lock-out. The stories, people, friends, and experience are truly worth documenting. I didn't expect the amount of drama and comedy that would occur outside of the hospital.

Day 1 : I flew 1 hour and 15 minutes from Burbank to Sacramento at 9am. I was told there would be signs for the Trustaff nurses to follow to the pick up area and a limo would be waiting for us. Turns out... no and no. There were no signs for guidance and the "limo" held a close resemblance to a white van.

My first friend is Jackie, she is from IL and this is her first strike. Next, I meet Karen, who turns out to be my roommate for the whole time. Then "Lindy," later known as the Haitian Sensation, who has the worst luck in the world according to her stories. Then a man named, Chris and another nurse from FL who announces that she's loaded up on Lorazepam AND Dramamine... wow! Then a boring, non-scenic drive 45 miles away from Sacramento. Um, I thought we were working in Sacramento, "We're going to Marysville" the driver tells us. "Marys-who?" Man, what a scary start to a questionable assignment.

We arrived at a scary-looking hotel called Baymont. Um, I was told I was staying at the Comfort Suites. Luckily, the manager at the Baymont, Rizzo, came out and told us their rooms were booked. Whew! I was getting the heebie-geebies just looking at that place. After passing some bums on the sidewalk and crossing the street to the Comfort Suites, we arrive and choose our roommates. Jackie reserved a private room. "Lindy" is next and asks if Karen or I would room with her. I grabbed Karen's arm and said "You're my roommate, k?" I'm so glad she agreed.

Our room was nice, two queen sized beds, MTV, a little lounge area, and a spacious bathroom. We unpack and meet up with Jackie to do the drug screening. After waiting so long to pee in a cup, all three of us leave to eat at the restaurant next door, The Peachtree. Well, these girls are fun, I thought. Who orders wine with lunch? They do!

Later that night, we engaged in unorganized meetings and wait in long lines to make sure our paperwork was complete. There are too many bitchy nurses to keep track of, but all they do is complain and hound Joe for their schedules. My gosh, can't people just relax? Joe is just one guy, and your nagging isn't getting anything done! It was a looooong day for all of us. As if we weren't tired enough, we are told there are two orientations the next morning. One will start at 7am, the next one at 10am. It was the luck of the draw, if there was enough room in the van, then you get to go to that orientation. Great, my favorite, waking up early in the morning.

Day 2 : Luckily, Karen, Jackie, and I made it to the early orientation. This part was more organized. We are assigned to our units, then go to different classrooms to orient different subjects such as the Accucheck machine, policies, protocols, etc. I made a new friend, Margaret, who will be working day shift on the Med/Surg unit. At the end, we get a free lunch, have one last meeting, then load up in the van to go back. We are told that Rizzo will be hosting a catered party for us at his hotel. Yay! We like free food. Then we are told last minute that the "party" that was being catered wasn't for us and we weren't invited, we, meaning the Comfort Suites people. What a rip!

After orientation, I accompanied a coworker I met during orientation back to the Sacramento airport to return her rental car and recover her luggage from Jetblue. It was a 3 hour ordeal that I would have rather spent cutting myself, jk! I don't know why she got on a plane to San Fran knowning her destination was Sacramento. I guess she didn't want to wait for the Sac departure. Regardless, Jetblue ended up keeping her bag locked up for an extra hour and a half which I spent with her while she complained endlessly and the creepy driver hit on me. EW! Worst part was, I left my phone in the room! What a dummy!!

I returned to my room to a Dear John note from Karen and Jackie pinpointing a BBQ restaurant they were interested in. Knock knock!! I open my door to Karen and Jackie returning from a shopping excursion from the Super Walmart across the street. Oh yeah, they brought the shopping cart into the hotel, in the elevator, and into the room. OMG girls! What are you doing with the Walmart cart in our room? "I know you like Vodka Redbulls, but I didn't know what vodka you wanted, so I just got us wine!" Jackie tells me. This is the moment I fell in love with her. Karen opens her bags to Clorox wipes, apple-scented air freshener, strawberries, lunch meat, rice cakes... That was the moment I fell in love with Karen.

That evening, we were forced to partake in another unorganized meeting where nothing was accomplished. Nothing that wine in a coffee cup couldn't take care of. Drinking wine during our meeting made it less painful. We also borrowed Jeff's rental car to make another alcohol run to Walmart during the meeting. Finally, we are given our schedules, some are day by day (like mine) others went through the week. Oh man, more bitchy nurses bitching about "I want this day off" "I work days" or "I only work nights." Sheesh everyone, just take a chill pill! I stayed up that night with another girl from Southern California, Palm Springs to be exact, named Kristin, drinking the night away in the computer room.

Day 3 : STRIKE DAY! We were told the strike starts at 7am for 24 hours. The worst that would happen to us is that we would get yelled at by the picketers. We were also told that they might have found out what hotels we were staying at. There I am thinking, what are they going to do? Beat us up? Come on!

I was scheduled for 12hr nights on a Med/Surg Oncology floor. Luckily, Jackie worked a day shift and called me to tell me about her experience. Horrible. It was a busy day in the ICU and was confronted by her patients family. Her patient's wife was a retired nurse from the hospital and their sons were nurses too. Blah blah blah scabs! Then go home, she wished she could tell them. The night shift gathered in the lobby and we all nervously get on the van. We checked into the "Command Center" to sign in and the manager of our unit came to pick us up and guide us to the unit. There were so many people in the unit it was hard to tell who was coming and who was going. Which nurses were pro-union and which one's didn't care?

I was given my assignment of 3 patients and then was off on my own. Luckily, the confused look on my face brought me the attention of more-than-helpful staff nurses. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and this is how I met more friends, Yolanda and Alyssa, Candice, and Bobbie.

Karen, Yolanda, and I ate many dinners at Peachtree. When was the last time you saw white-out on a dinner receipt?

And if it wasn't at the Peachtree, it was Taco Bell. Ugh!

I worked 5 12hr nights in a row until I was granted a day off. On my 5th night, I met a fun guy, Ron who also had Wednesday off. Let's hang out! Once we were off work, we changed clothes and walked into downtown Marysville. Nothing in this ghost town opens till 11am. So after a glass of wine at 1030am and a pasta lunch, we headed to the tattoo parlor. Yes my friends, I got a new tattoo! Later that night, I hung out with the Baymont people at their hotel. How pimp does that spa look in the corner of Ron's room? Kevin thought it was cool too!

Day 7 : I was called off. Yay, Alyssa and Kristin had the night off too! Now I can join everyone at the karaoke bar and enjoy another night off, and which I did. But first... we got spa pedicures at the Super Walmart across the street. That's right, we got pedi's at Walmart!! But, if I must say, it was one of the best I've received.

Next, on to the karaoke bar! White wine was my drink of choice, it always kicks my butt. I don't remember the last part of the night, but thank you Alyssa for your southern hospitality and making sure I didn't vomit in the elevator.

Day 9 : Kristin and I for another day off. We decided to get massages and go to the "mall." Too bad she and I decided to take a taxi only to be sexually harassed on our way to the spa by a guy that thought he was so cool. He was wrong. The massages were great, I got a deep tissue where I felt like the masseuse hated me. But my back felt so much better at the end. Then we made the mistake of having the creepy taxi driver pick us up again, 50 minutes late, and drop us off at the mall. This mall was so empty, but at least there was some shopping therapy available. We also enjoyed mall food, which is different from Taco Bell or The Peachtree. We called Rizzo up to see if someone could pick us up since we didn't feel like dealing with the creepy sexual harassment taxi driver again.

That night we met up with Yolanda and a few other girls and Matt and Robert to enjoy drinks and dinner at Applebees.

Day 11 : The last day of the lock out. I was able to get by during this whole assignment without being floated, until this day. Why does it have to be my last day? Seriously!! Now I was being floated to the unit that EVERYONE hates. The nursing care, staff nurses, and patients were terrible. I shudder at the stories I've been told and always thanked my lucky stars for not being floated there, until tonight. There was no way I could avoid or refuse it, I tried. I bitched and tried to drag my feet, but I knew nothing would change. So I went to that scary unit, only to see a couple of friendly faces that were more than happy to help me find things. I stayed away from the staff as long as I could. My 3 patients turned into 4, but they were well behaved, whew! Julie from L&D came to visit and say hello. Then Julie and Rachel from the ICU visited and dropped off a piece of chocolate cake.

We were told to be off the floor by 530am and in the van outside by 6am. The staff nurses that went on strike were coming back and they didn't want us to run into them. Fine by me, take my patients while I sit in a van. Of course we were picked up at 615am. My last shift wasn't so bad. I just didn't like the switch-a-roo they pulled when I got to my assigned unit. Only to float me to the black hole once I arrived.

This was the last night. We decided to have margaritas and eat a good dinner. Well, we arrived at a little hole in the wall Mexican restaurant that DIDN'T serve margaritas? Ugh, what a nightmare. So we ate our late lunch, had Walt and Sydney meet with us, then we found a restaurant next to Ellis Lake that served margaritas. It was a great evening from then on. Oh yeah, we shoved all four of us in the back of Walt's rental car. Comfy!

That night we watched TV, ordered KFC to go, shopped one more time at Walmart, watched Yolanda pack her stuff at the Baymont, transported her stuff to our room via Super Walmart shopping cart, then packed our own belongings.

Last day : Kristin and I met in the lobby to make the 7am van to the airport. Karen and Yolanda took the 8am van. Karen's flight took off from the next terminal. Yolanda and I were in the same terminal and got one more hour together then we parted ways.